Double M...and not the bus.

 

snitch

Someone who gives up incriminating evidence to people they have no business talking to in the first place. Some snitch because they need attention others snitch because they are scared.

                                                                   (Source: Urban Dictionary)

Miguna Miguna…a lot has been said. He has been vilified, blogged about in good taste and in bad…but unless my opinion is heard, or in this case read, nothing has been put across quite yet. Some say that he sucks the moisture off ducks (OK, that was both stolen and made up. Twisted is how my mind functions…get used to it.) , now really, most people out there are going on about how Miguna Miguna is an ego-maniacal narcissist with a serious case of the god complex. I just think he is acting like an attention starved teenager who is acting out.

He released tell-all book…that courted controversy in every page…like a whore in a church in her work clothes, and got everyone’s panties in a bunch. See, that’s the problem with Kenyans…nobody is looking at the big picture here. This is a book that was released on what is traditionally election year. It is a character assassination tool that is aimed at arguably the strongest single presidential candidate among the ones we have currently. Now, do not twist my words to fit in as a public endorsement of the aggrieved political candidate. That is a personal decision that I do not wish to share with anyone, lest I be accused of exerting undue influence over my otherwise fickle and suggestible country folk. 

Now, back to the matter at hand…  Do I have a problem, or rather, a host of problems with the whole Double M affair? Yes.  First, this Negro is what we in the street call a snitch! (For the street-illiterate, meaning an usage posted above) They might try to sugarcoat that shit with more appealing words like whistle blower, or crusader for justice, but Double M is just what I called him…a double crossing, yellow-bellied, Lilly-livered, scum-of-the-earth snitch. He has that untrustworthy vibe you get from someone who you are sure is not telling the whole truth. Why did he not release all those facts he claims to have, with the relevant evidences affixed, when he was still in office, or when they were going on? Why did he not pull a Githongo and give us real tangible evidence that could be used to make indictments and help in commission investigations? Why did he result to printing a well-crafted tale, with grandiose (Fuck! I always wanted to use that word. Thanks Miguna.) images of himself as a knight in shining armor, full of bravery and virtue, riding upon a white battle stallion, in the nick of time to save us from the dragon of impunity and corruption, that threatens to incapacitate us and topple our glorious nation?

 Maybe it’s the timing of the book, or the fact that he decided to write it after his ass was fired for being a dickhead at work, but something is not ticking all the boxes here. He looks like that guy in the movie who walks into Edgar Hoover Building with a box of incriminating evidence against a Mafia Boss. Something just doesn’t add up. What is his end game? What is he hiding up his sleeve? Who or what prompted the release of that book? And do not tell me that he did it out of the goodness of his conscience. That he felt afflicted by the injustices propagated by this government that fired him so unceremoniously from office. I have watched CRIMINAL MINDS the TV series…egotistical narcissists like Double M do not care about anyone else but themselves. It is their kids that grow up with father issues, just because their father was out there looking for adoring fans who worship his every deed. Having said that, who knows what this devious creature is up to anyway?

Second, modafoka is too full of himself! He launched the book in Obasanjo wear, looking like a Nigerian drug lord, in a fancy looking hotel. He then got into an unwarranted monologue of self-praise that extolled his enormous virtue (perceived or otherwise, only time will tell) and how much it had helped protect Kenya from the demon of money hungry people in the Prime Minister’s office. He made it look like without him, this fine nation would have been robbed blind by the people in the PM’s office. He oozes egomaniac with every sentence that escapes his lips…putting the phrase “blowing your own trumpet” into perspective in a major way!

There is not a sentence that comes out of his mouth that does not have his name in it somewhere. He refers to himself in the third party! Who does that? What normal person addresses himself in the third party? He also goes ahead to list all the thing he has done, telling us irrelevant information that further exalts the “phenom” that is Miguna Miguna! Telling us of how Mr. James Orengo begged him to stay in the capacity he had been appointed by the Prime Minister…because apparently, only he could stem the fast spreading and supposedly unstoppable rot of corruption, deceit and pure evil that had permeated the office of the PM. The operative word here, for those who did not pick up on it is BEG. He flaunts his ability to defend his actions in court, by advertising the fact that He is an awesome Libel lawyer. I wouldn’t know whether this is true, but I do know for a fact that if you are the village champion at wrestling, common human decency forbids you from walking around intimidating those who do not match up to your strength.

I could go on and on, listing the problems I have with this whole Double M affair, but this article would get boring, repetitive and anal. There are a few thing I want to get out first before I leave…

I am not politically affiliated to any political candidate, and this article is not in any way meant to defend the PM’s honour, extol his virtue or proclaim his innocence in the wake of the damning allegations leveled against him by his once close ally. Should the PM and/or his supporters feel that Double M deserves a rebuttal, let them have the balls to stand up and do it themselves! This article is not motivated by any political loyalty, or love, and the opinions placed here might not meet up to the lofty expectations of certain readers…or it might offend some. In the event that it happens, cease reading the posts here, start your own Blog, and pour your heart out. I am sure some poor sap with now will left to live, will read it.

Miguna Miguna will step on a lot of toes with his book. A lot of the toes he steps on, will belong to very powerful individuals, and might be connected to the ass he will have to kiss someday. That magic trick of his, where he is peeling back the mask, might open the proverbial Pandora ’s Box, and the resulting shitstorm might  call on the very knowledge of the law he was so keen to flaunt. A lot of the allegations contained in his book will require him, by law, and by the decree of the Director of Public Prosecution, to provide the state with evidence to support them. Some might even require the same of him, only this time, the ICC will be involved. I hope Miguna knows what he is doing. I hope he has accounted for every eventuality and arranged the relevant contingencies. Africa has a history of intolerance to snitching, and snitches end up wearing the proverbial cement shoes and swimming with the Nile Perch…