May The gods pee on you!!

They are everywhere!!

This is going to be an article that comes from the very depths of my psyche. Contrary to popular belief, I am a peace loving individual, who finds it very hard to hate on anything…. J honest!!

Now that I have that out the way, WTF is up with the watoto wa siku hizi?!

I have waited for this phase to go away, kept lying to myself that it was just like lil Jon and the eastside boys…doomed to die a very horrible death. Apparently, I was wrong. I know this seems like it is going nowhere, but once I state the subject of my wrath, you will nod you head and go “ooh, that”

I have decide to take up issue with these retards walking the streets in jeans that are 3 sizes too small and funny looking shoes. These little fuckers walking around masquerading as grown men…here is a little advice. If you are in jeans that look as if you had to butcher a jar of petroleum jelly just to get them past your knees, don’t go around puffing your chest acting like you gangster. You are not the it-shit!! With your pants hanging so far from your waist, your cheap dirty boxers showing and your cheap knock off of a belt almost poking someone’s eye out with its iron buckle!!

What’s with the tight T-shirt? The ridiculousness of the picture you portray…too funny to put in words. You end up looking like a malnourished little boy, collarbones sticking out and almost poking holes in that T-shirt.  If your chest is as skinny as mine, and you do not have the physique of that behemoth that threw you out of the club last weekend for being a douche, for the sake of sanity, please leave your little sister’s T-shirt at home! And leave those oversize glasses that make you look like a dragonfly. Careful now, you might end up looking like Gabu of P-Unit in the video for the song Gentleman!

Most people would blame lil’ Wayne and his messed up fashion sense. I wouldn’t. This is a boy whose major food groups consist of Marijuana and cough syrup. He is excused from the fuck ups. I blame everyone else…for following the actions of a person who is stoned half the time. The fashion houses for giving credibility to the Idea, and other ‘celebrities’ for endorsing it. The immature women out there who actually think a guy dressed like that is worth looking at twice, and actually walk around holding them and acting like they are the catch of the century…encouraging misguided youth to continue along these lines…these are the ones who should be draw and quartered!

  I am not an authority on fashion. In fact, I am that guy who still thinks that wearing straight jeans, a white T-shirt and nice all-star sneaks is cool. Maybe I am not particularly motivated to be swagged out…I prefer class to swag. That is probably why I am looking for the guy who hooked up Paul Walker with the suit he wore in Takers the movie…but this is my advice for those little bastards littering out streets with insulting fashion:-

Dear little Bastard,

Please stop showing me things I do not want to see. I did not leave my house in the morning for my eyes to be assaulted by you and your multicolored jeans that don’t fit and your body parts hanging out. Personally, I would rather watch paint dry, than watch your loudmouth self disgrace my race, my nationality, my species and evolution by wearing that hideous outfit in the name of swag. May the gods pee all over your swag your retarded monkey!!   

And do not act all surprised when a fellow man comes to you with vibe like “you look really cute in them jeans. I would like to buy you a drink.”    It’s your fault you bloody Neanderthal!  You chose those little ass jeans, you chose to walk around town with half your ass hanging out, you chose that tight girly t-shirt with the low collar, and you chose those messed up shoes with rainbow colors!! Do not go blaming anyone if you turn on some heavyset dude at the club with misconstrued scruples who decides to put a little something in your drink when you go to the gents. I actually pray to the gods it happens…and you regain consciousness just when this fella has plunged his mammoth penis up your virgin ass... And I hope it hurts like hell!!